“…Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change…” — Wayne W. Dyer
“Public speaking is something you either have or you don’t… I don’t have it… I can’t speak… I’m afraid to speak… The audience will laugh at me, they won’t understand me… I’m a poor speaker… Anything but public speaking… I’ll die on the spot when I see a crowd of people listening to me…”
Sound familiar? These are not just phrases. They are phrases we believe in. They are stories created by our minds – stories we choose to believe. They are our beliefs. Our inner stories, the ones we tell ourselves.
Beliefs are a set of rules that develops throughout our lives and guides us in our everyday personal and professional activities. Much of what a person achieves is influenced by the beliefs they hold. Beliefs can be divided into two types: limiting and empowering. The sad truth is that much of humanity is governed by limiting beliefs.
Governed by fear, self-doubt, and hopelessness. That is why, first of all, we should observe and examine our beliefs. What are they? Empowering or limiting? Can I speak in public or not? Does the audience want me to succeed, or are they hoping I will fail? After all, what I believe determines what I say and how I say it.
The way we perceive the world around us – and the extent to which we feel in control of our lives – determines what we do and what results we achieve.We can say that a belief is limiting when we have set an important goal for ourselves and “something” is preventing us from achieving it. That “something” is often our limiting beliefs, which shape our emotional reactions to different events.
Our reactions are shaped by our beliefs. This is why different people respond differently to the same events. When we question an existing belief and replace it with a new one, we can change our reactions and pursue our goals much more effectively.
Let’s consider an example. Imagine that you want to give a speech in front of an audience.
Limiting beliefs might sound like this: “I will never be liked by this audience. I’m not a good enough speaker. I might say something completely ridiculous. The audience will just laugh at me. I’m simply not meant to speak in public…”
If you believe these things, you are unlikely to move forward or achieve the goal you want. Limiting beliefs prevent you from seeing opportunities and take away your motivation to act.
But limiting beliefs can be transformed into empowering ones. Frightening inner stories can be turned into an exciting adventure. Fears can be transformed into strengths.
THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS INNER FREEDOM IS WORKING WITH YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS!!!
Words are the outward expression of deeper inner processes. Change your limiting beliefs, and the words you speak will change. Your inner story will change – and then you will change. And when you change, the world around you will change as well…Imagine that you are a detective studying your own thoughts and emotions in order to uncover the limiting beliefs that are preventing you from achieving your goals.
Write them down on a piece of paper and face them! At that moment, you may begin to feel just how powerful your limiting beliefs are and what emotions they trigger.This is often the most difficult step. We tend to believe that our beliefs are real! But this is exactly where your choice can change everything. What do you want more: to fight imaginary limitations, or to achieve your goals and desires? Remember: “…when we defend our beliefs, we give them power…” — Evelyn Waugh.
So, what will you choose?
Use your imagination to formulate a new, positive and empowering belief about the issue that concerns you.
For example, if you feel that the audience is simply waiting for you to fail, your new belief could be: “Everyone listening to me wants me to succeed and supports me…”
Or, if you currently believe that you are simply not meant to speak in public, your positive belief could be: “I have been given an incredible gift for public speaking—I can express my thoughts clearly, precisely, and effectively…”
Or, if you are overwhelmed by stage fright, your positive belief could be: “When I stand in front of an audience and speak in public, I get to know myself better and better. It is one of the best ways to discover who I am…”
The purpose of this exercise is not only to identify your limiting beliefs, but to “dive” deeper.
As you begin cultivating positive and empowering beliefs, you will likely want to gain new experiences. You will want to experience new feelings and states of being. By completing Steps 2 and 3 of this exercise properly, you will begin a long, yet highly creative Journey of transforming old, limiting beliefs.At first, it may feel a little uncomfortable, but act as if your new positive and empowering belief is true.
In other words, if you are someone who is liked by others, perhaps it is time to start acting like it? Or if you are a great speaker, perhaps now is the time to give that wonderful speech?
If you do not act differently, you will continue strengthening and “feeding” your old limiting belief. Even the smallest step can help reinforce your new positive and empowering belief. Your first actions do not need to be perfect – they simply need to follow the direction you have chosen. And remember that it is very important to thank yourself and praise yourself for taking the first steps into this new chapter.
Your beliefs are powerful, especially when you realise that you are constantly and unconsciously looking for evidence to confirm them.
Make sure your new beliefs have a positive purpose. Repeat them aloud.
Imagine yourself living differently – feeling happier and more confident.
Change your story, and you will change your life. Because your story, whatever it may be, shapes your life.
